A letter to the person who might never read it

I put down the phone as if we have come to an agreement. I'm speechless about the situation yet I can't ignore the growing anxiety of where we are going. I'm the kind of person who need something to fight for and currently I can't see the goal. I don't want to drag you through my emotional and mental crisis yet I need the dialogue to clear my head.

For the past 4 years we've been flying back and forth to each other's country as a routine like one of those migrating birds. I don't know if birds get tired of the same traveling pattern but I do. I hate flying alone I hate the airplane food I hate saying goodbye and knowing it's another 6 month to see this face again.

I won't give up on us so easy but I won't cling on the expectation of joining you in the near future. It has been a great journey for me but I've learned that sometimes you just can't beat the reality. It's time, babe.